By Julie Dean
It’s morning. I lift the shofar, take a deep breath and immerse in the resonant sound heard by generations. Wake up! Wake up! Seismic reverberations travel to my inner depths, shaking open the sleepy places and spiritual blockages that have accumulated over the past year of my life.
With a sincere heart, I ask myself big questions of Hitchadshut (renewal), “For the coming year, what wisdom do I need to renew as a guidepost in my life?” “What insights have I forgotten that are important to re-member to myself?” I place the wise words of Rashi before me: “If you hearken to the old – understand this to mean that you must review what you have learned previously, then you will hear within it that which is new.”
As I strive to connect with the middah of hitchadshut/renewal and locate it within my own life, a traditional Jewish folktale comes to mind. Known by the title, Joseph's Overcoat, the main subject of this story is a colorful piece of fabric that undergoes continual renewal based on what is needed at different points in time. The fabric is first made into a coat. After much wear and use, it is then transformed into a vest. Again, after more time the usable piece then becomes a scarf, then a necktie, then a handkerchief, and eventually a cloth button that disappears. The reader wonders, “Is this the end of the story?” It is not; for we turn the last page to discover that the final stage for this piece of the fabric is to become the subject of Joseph’s folktale, a teaching for the generations to come about renewal and making something from nothing.
Connecting this story with the words of Rashi, I look back at the last year and even further back to years past, and consider Mussar wisdom has been especially helpful at different stages in my life. I reflect with the intention of renewing previous learning, that I may have even forgotten, to help guide me in the new year.
Which middot have been especially poignant focal points? How and when was I challenged? What did I learn through my study and practice? Which patterns in my behavior and attitudes keep resurfacing? What changes will help me become a better person in my relationships? I hold these questions in one hand and in the other, I bring forth a vision of how I hope to grow in the coming year. Standing in this place of discernment and honesty, I come face to face with the humility of personal transformation. In order to move in the direction of shleimut/wholeness, what are several realistic, doable actions to help me take an active role in my becoming?
Reflecting on the past year, my attention returns to a particular theme: Ahavah - Loving Self, Others, and The Divine. I invite you to join me in exploring how reflecting on this middah of Ahavah may help us all become more loving people in 5785. To help us renew this learning for the new year, let’s explore a few texts and questions:
Loving Another
A person loves another person through the soul, because the soul desires love, and even though individual bodies are separate one from the other, the souls of each person are spiritual, and spirituality is not divisible, rather it is characterized by complete oneness. And when the soul of one person awakens the desire to love the other, the other’s soul awakens the desire to love the [first] person, and the two souls become one.
In which interpersonal relationship do I seek to renew my attentiveness and actions of love?
Kavanah/Intention: What impact do I hope this will have on myself and the other person?
Describe one or two specific behaviors I can do in order to enact this.
What may the voice of my yetzer ha’ra say that could intercept these positive intentions?
What wisdom do I need to renew to support my highest ratzon/will?
Loving Oneself
…one who possesses a developed mind, who recognizes her/his self-worth; such an individual will cherish and love life. Such an individual will try with all their strength to elevate themselves, and elevate all of life with them.
This is the overriding principle: Awareness of one’s [true] value is the essential aspect of life itself and the essential measure of growth for every person who walks the face of the earth. Thus, the great principle [in the governing] of our lives is to be aware and to know a person’s worth as evaluated by the Torah, because, in reality, this is the true value of a person. Indeed, awareness of this truth is the basis for our spiritual service and growth, and through it we possess the true yardstick for measuring every action and movement – all our behavior, both generally and specifically.
Which behaviors and self-perceptions get in the way of embracing my true value?
Kavanah/intention: Describe the core understanding of self-worth I seek to implant in my heart.
Describe one or two specific behaviors I can take to help reinforce this intention.
What may the voice of my yetzer ha’ra say that could intercept these positive intentions?
What wisdom do I need to renew to support my highest ratzon/will?
Loving God
וְאָ֣הַבְתָּ֔ אֵ֖ת יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ וּבְכׇל־מְאֹדֶֽךָ׃
You shall love your God יהוה with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
Deuteronomy 6:5
The four Hebrew letters of the month of Elul are an acronym from the verse in Song of Songs: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li. (“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”) The Song of Songs is understood to be an allegory in which the lovers are God and Israel. This verse leads me into reflection about my personal relationship with God. For me, considering these profound questions, requires time, space and deep listening to the kol d’mama d’ka, קוֹל דְּמָמָה דַקָּה, the still small voice, within.
What does renewing my love of God look like, feel like, and sound like?
Kavanah/Intention: What do I yearn for in my relationship with God?
Describe one or two specific practices I can enact to awaken my heart and deepen my connection with God’s love.
What may the voice of my yetzer ha’ra say that could intercept these positive intentions?
What wisdom do I need to renew to support my highest ratzon/will?
Through revisiting core teachings and learning about the middah of Ahavah, I renew recurring themes and classical wisdom to help guide and direct my path through this next year of life. As Ramban teaches (in Deuteronomy 4:2), “No prophet is capable of adding anything new,” for as it says (in Deuteronomy 30:12) הואִ֑ יםִמַ֖שָּׁ בַ אֹל֥” – It is not in the heavens . . .”, and nevertheless, all learning is by way of חידוש/renewal.
Each day of Elul, I begin again, initiating a new shofar blast to activate further introspection and explorations of hitchadshut/renewal in the New Year. Throughout this month, I collect data about my life, my values, relationships, behaviors, perspectives and challenges. I touch my heart over and over again, asking deep questions to connect with my emet/truth. I seek out my yetzer ha’ra, with all her tricks and hiddenness, while exploring directions for growing toward my potential. Day by day, waking up in the month of Elul brings forth renewed insights, reflections, and questions. Each blessed moment building upon the ones before.
May your Elul introspections help guide you toward meaningful and valuable renewal; so that our Mussar learning and practice, like Joseph’s colorful piece of fabric, becomes woven into our life’s ultimate narrative.
Comments